Surgery again.....UGH!!

Since my wonderful golf trip to Eastern Washington, I have been busy modeling in a cancer fund raisier, meeting with the neurologist about my upcoming surgery and visiting my son and family in Washington DC.

I wore dressy cocktail dresses and lots of sparkly jewelry. I haven't looked this good in years. My handsome escort is the husband of a dear friend of mine. I was first down the runway in my gorgeous blue number and really hammed it up. It was a delightful evening and raised $140,000 for the cancer mentoring program in town.

With my neurosurgery scheduled for Nov 5, I was able to reschedule my visit with Jon and family and spent a beautiful sunny week with them walking all over the capital, visiting with nieces and their families, visiting the fabulous science museum in Baltimore and having a day with the two couples we had such fun with on the Russia trip, and just enjoying being with Dash and Finley, my adorable grandchildren. I returned home extremely tired just before Sandy hit. It was a great way to absorb their positive energy and not think about the pain I was in.

The pre-op visit with the neurologist made me a little more optimistic about this surgery. Although he will have to remove a good part of one side of my C6 vertebra and work around the spinal column and vertebral artery, he is not planning on having to do a fusion at this time. If all goes well, my activities will be restricted for about 6 weeks. But hopefully I will be out of pain and have a full range of motion and be able to go back to golf and pickleball.

BUT I will need all of your healing blue energy surrounding me and the neurosurgeon on Monday, Nov 5th as we proceed with yet another surgery. (My body is going to look like an op-art painting of scars!!)

Wonderful Week in Western Washington

This last week was just what the doctor ordered for my psyche. The neck and arm were painful but I just used the advice from Pema to move toward the pain.... I spent a week of gorgeous fall days with three friends, playing golf, tasting wine, eating yummy food and laughing until our sides hurt. Now I hope to squeeze in a week trip to Washington, DC to join Jon and family before the surgery on my neck to remove the tumor from my C6 vertebra on November 5th. I am trying not to worry about what the outcomes of the surgery may be as the neurosurgeon won't really know how much he will have to remove until he gets in there. But I remain optimistic about the outcome.

How to handle bad news after so much hope

I don't think that anyone who hasn't walked this journey can understand how depressing it is to learn that cancer you thought was in remission has returned aggressively. I was feeling so strong and being able to play golf and pickleball very well, but small nagging pain over my shoulder and down my arm became increasing more persistent and painful as the days progressed. My oncologist talked with a neurosurgeon and he ordered more MRIs and X-rays. They showed that the tumor on C6 was growing and pressing on the nerves that go down my left arm. The neurosurgeon advised that there was no choice but surgery to try to get the tumor out as soon as possible before it begins pressing on the spinal column.

I was so depressed when I heard the news, but have pulled myself together and have a plan which helps in making myself be in the moment rather than worrying about the future. For now I am dealing with constant pain and the hopes that I can visit Jon, Lori and the kids in Washington DC before I head to Portland for the surgery.

Summer was a real high

I didn't realize that I hadn't put anything here since June. I had an amazing summer and am so grateful for that. I played a lot of golf. I seem to have lost a lot of my game during my year of IL-2 therapy but still could enjoy being out on a beautiful day with friends on the golf course. I joined a new team to play in the Corvallis Women's Best ball tournament and we ended up third out of 40 teams...lots of fun. Lynda Warren and I left the day after the tournament for a cruise from Moscow to St. Petersburg. It was a wonderful trip: great weather, amazing group, new friends, informative Russian tour guides, and lots of amazing places to visit and photograph.

I got home with two days to try to get over jet lag and do my laundry and headed to Palo Alto to my nieces wedding. It was such a lovely affair...just the wedding they wanted...in a redwood grove with a small group of family and friends...camping out and barbecuing food and just enjoying each others company.

Returned to Portland to have PET/CT scans. The great news was that they showed no new tumors... the disquieting news was that the uptake in my C6 vertebra was still there. I was overjoyed at the first news and didn't think too much about the second. I allowed myself to get hopeful that I might be one of the small percent of people who respond to IL-2 and go into complete remission. 

Happy Summer

Things are going very well for me and I have been very busy...almost too busy and that is the reason behind the scarcity of posts. But the treatment that I had last year has been in the news in the last month with the publication of an article about the results of the Phase I trial  in the journal Science Translational Medicine.  This treatment really holds promise for stage 4 melanoma patients, especially young ones who can withstand the difficult treatment. Stereotactic body radiation (which targets tumors without irradiating healthy tissue) is given three days before the start of IL-2. It increased the response rate from 10 to 15% to over 70%!  Randomized Phase II trials are going on right now with a larger group of patients. I was so fortunate to have been in the right place at the right time to be given this treatment without qualifying for the trial. I am considered in partial remission and if my scans in August are clear I will be considered to be in complete remission. I will keep you posted.

(The photo is of a lovely sunset from my window of my Willamette View apartment in Portland)

Joyous

This photo is one of joy and it is what I feel now that the radiation oncologist has looked at my scans very carefully and has confirmed that nothing remains of the tumor in my neck and there are no new tumors in my spine or brain. We will do a pet scan in August to see if there are new tumors in any other part of my body or if my remission continues.

     I must admit that with this news, I am having to adjust my way of thinking. Over the last four years I have worked very hard to live in the moment and not think about or plan much into the future, but now I may have more of a future than I thought. I still want to work very hard at not filling every moment with activities, but living at a more mindful pace. This has not been my normal way of operating in the world and I will be interested in how well I succeed. You all have permission to remind me of that goal.....

WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL!!!

Best news in 4 years! Initial readings of brain and spinal MRIs are normal. If the radiation oncologist confirms this, I will be considered in remission and not have to have scans again until August.