SMILE at Fear: A Life-affirming Weekend

Ten years ago when I was so ill and my husband, Stefan, was diagnosed with terminal cancer, my sister-in-law, Laura, send me the book When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron. In the 1970s, I had dabbled with Buddhist and Zen teachings and meditation practices and found the teachings very foreign and the meditation practices difficult to do. So I decided that was not for me.

Pema's writings changed all that because she has the gift of translating obscure Buddhist teachings into everyday western English.Since that time, I have read most of her others books. In addition to When Things Fall Apart, my favorites are Start Where You Are, The Places that Scare You, and Comfortable with Uncertainty. I need to add to the list her newest book: Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears (which may be her best in terms of practical advice that you can do everyday). (Side note: Pema was born Diedre Blumfield-Brown)

My friend Phyllis Lefohn (who lives in Montana and is a Quigong teacher) and I have talked again and again of going to one of Pema's retreats at her Gampo Abbey in Nova Scotia, but we just couldn't find a time to make it happen. From many things that have happened to me and for me in the last few years, I am certainly beginning to believe that things happen for a reason if you are open and present in the moment. Last April, I opened a Shambala magazine that a friend had given me in a stack of magazines that she had finished, and there was an ad for a meditation weekend with Pema Chodron in Richmond California. I called Phyl immediately to say that I was going to go and could she join me. It just so happened that she had a wedding in San Francisco the week before and she said "Yes". I signed us up immediately. Good thing I did as it was sold out in one week with 3,000 people attending (and another 2,000 from all over the world listening online).

When I was on the BRAF drug and so sick, I didn't think that there was any way that I was going to be able to make the weekend. But with help from the organizers of the conference in arranging for special seating and access, I was able to participate in the entire weekend. The organizers of the weekend (all volunteers) did the best they could with the venue and number of attendees and there were parts of the workshop that didn't work well. BUT the times with Pema were magical.

I could spend pages telling you what I learned and how putting these tools into practice will make such a difference in how I live whatever life I have remaining. The theme of the workshop was SMILE at Fear. Pema acknowledges that fearlessness is a lofty goal, but the starting point is getting to know our fears. Fears cause us to shut down, to run away, to begin harmful habits, or to spin imagined, and often exaggerated, story lines of future occurrences. This workshop presented techniques that allow one to stay present when things trigger fear in us, and to touch the fear instead of running from it. Pema discussed ways to approach situations with no predetermined or fixed ideas but with curiosity, interest, and an open mind. Most of all, she advocates living a genuine life filled with unconditional friendship and kindness toward oneself and others.

I hope those of you who want to know more will contact me and we can have lunch or tea or can chat over email. If you would like to experience everything that Pema said, DVDs and CDs of all her talks at the workshop are being produced and are going to be available to order after Nov 1 at www.pemachodrontapes.com.

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