Wonderful Holiday Present

Today was the best present of the season...Sunny and 50 degrees. I walked 9 holes of golf (without exhausting myself) and scored 48 (which I haven't done in a long time.) Came home to the wagging tail and adoring eyes of my Sophie and she and I had a long walk. I must admit that I am having a difficult time with transferring her main home to Lynda, but know that is best for her.

May you holiday be filled with sunshine, warmth and the love of family and friends.

Happy Hanukkah

While I was in Portland this weekend, I celebrated Hanukkah early with each of my children and their families. We had a wonderful low-key time, being together and enjoying watching the grandkids with their new toys.

As I light the candles this week, I think about the inner light and energy that we all have. May it burn brightly for years to come.

Happy Holidays to all!

My apartment in Portland

I spent the weekend setting up my new apartment in Portland. Although I am missing some things (rugs, more art for the walls). It is a comfortable and warm living space with a wonderful view. I can't believe how welcoming the whole Willamette View community is and how quickly I felt comfortable being there. It is just a quick drive to my kids homes and I can see myself running over there often to see the grandkids or just to help out. I originally thought this would be a place for me to be during treatment, but with my partial remission, it is turning into a place for enjoying living!

My week at Commonweal

This past week was very intense and very rewarding. I think that Louise, a 2003 participant in the Cancer Help Program, summed it up well in her poem (slightly adapted for my experience):

When my friends ask, "How was Cancer Camp?" I will say...

While you were fighting the freeway traffic, I was walking in the woods admiring new green shoots and thinking of the cycle of life.

While your were listening to news of Iraq and the euro crisis, I was hearing birds sing, the ocean waves pounding, and coyotes baying at the full moon.

While your were complaining of your aches and pains, I was being pampered with a massage given by loving hands.

While you were racing through the mall madly shopping for the holidays, I was meditating, learning yoga and playing in the sand tray.

While you were calling around to find someone to go to the movies with, I found seven new friends to share thoughts with, to laugh and cry with.

While you put your Lean Cuisine in the microwave, I was feasting on homemade soup and gourmet vegetarian fare!

I have cancer - you don't. But who had a better time this past week - you or me?

Commonweal

I have been accepted to spend a week at Commonweal Retreat Center in Bolinas California,( http://www.commonweal.org/programs/cancer-help.html) founded by Jim Lerner and Rachel Naomi Remen (author of two wonderful books, Kitchen Table Wisdom and My Grandfather's Blessings). I will be with 8 other cancer patients for an intensive week of intentional healing. Should be interesting experience.

I was very interested in attending this program when I first got melanoma, but when Stef got sick as well, it never happened. I became reacquainted with the program last February right as I began IL-2 therapy. I thought that it might be something that I could really benefit from and so I applied. Over the last 10 years I have discovered much of what they address on my own but felt that there is much more that I can do for myself and for others with cancer. I am going with an open mind to see what I can learn.

The side effects from the radiation seem to be minimal, fatigue, some tingling and pain down my arm, and swelling and soreness in my neck. Very manageable with ibuprofen...hopefully this will be all.

So much to be thankful for!

I am so thankful for my wonderful family, all my amazing friends, and a cadre of talented doctors, nurses and integrative health professionals that have care for and supported me over the last year. Who would have guessed a year ago that I would feel so well and be able to actively participate in our family Thanksgiving!

I made it through the radiation this week but have had some side effects of nerve pain in my arm, swelling in the neck and fatigue, but nothing that I can't manage. I will be heading home tomorrow for a few days of R&R after all of the activity in Portland.

Wishing you and your families a very Happy Thanksgiving. I am so grateful to have all of your in my life.

Pema Chodron Primer

I wanted to share this website with all of you. It is a great summary of Pema's teachings that I have found so helpful over the last few years. I highly recommend reading the books that are highlighted in these excerpts. http://pemachodronfoundation.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/pemachodronprimer-shambhalasun.pdf

Simulation day at the oncologists

Not a pleasant experience. You lie on a very hard table and they place hot plastic mesh on your face, neck and shoulders and then mold it to your body and then cover the whole thing with cold, wet towels so that it cools faster. But let me tell you..it is very claustrophobic and can't cool fast enough. Then you stay in the mask unable to move while they do an CT scan and mark the mask. The process for my knee was faster and certainly not as bad. It will take a week for the computer and radiation oncologists to map the paths of radiation for my neck that will hit the tumor but miss my esophagus etc. I return for the actual radiation treatment the Tuesday and Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Hopefully

Made dinner for both families and then tried to help Lori with the kids while she made lunches and did garbage etc. Finny is at the stage where she cries when anyone holds her but her Mom and Dad so I ended up not being as much help as I wished.

Today I am going home for some R&R. I love being with the little ones but they certainly are exhausting.

Fun but exhausting!

Just had to share with everyone how much fun I am having taking care of my grandkids while Becca is working and Brian is in New York. I must a lot more stamina now as I have been taking care of both kids for most of the day. This morning Dash came over as well and we made green Playdoh while Alex sat in his bouncy chair and watched.

I did see the radiation oncologist on Tuesday. He said that we can do radiation to both tumors. He will give one large dose to the one on my neck and two smaller doses to my knee. This type of radiation, called stereotactic body radiation, requires a simulation appointment of 1 hour and a week for them to make the computer simulation and then two more appointments the following week for the treatment itself. I hope to have all of this done before the week of Thanksgiving so the worst of the side effects will be over by the time all of the Bloomfield arrive in Portland for Thanksgiving.

Catching up

Sorry to have been out of touch but there has not been much to report. I have just been waiting to hear from the oncologist about radiation treatment. I guess that I am having radiation as I have an appointment with the radiation oncologist tomorrow and will find out just what that entails. But the really good news is that my oncologist wants to wait for three months to do scans again to see the effect of the radiation and the IL-2 on my remaining tumors.

In the meantime, I am getting stronger day-by-day and enjoying whatever life has to offer me. Last weekend, I went to the coast with two friends (Phyl Lefohn and Carolyn Miller) who had attended the Pema Chodron retreat with me last October. We were going to participate in an online retreat with Pema. Technology issues (slow Internet connections and the snow storm in NY) kept us from seeing all the sessions. We did see 4 hours of the workshop from the second floor of the local pizza place where we were competing with big screen college football broadcasts. But not doing the whole workshop left time for long beach walks, meditations on the beach, and interesting discussions about how what we learned at last year's workshop had impacted our lives.

In addition to getting the radiation, I am spending the week helping out with both sets of grandchildren, and finalizing the remodeling plans for the apartment I bought so hopefully I can use it when I am in Portland starting in December.

Results of Today's Visit with the Oncologist

Well, the news is neither great nor terrible...it is probably good news, but I guess I am feeling disappointed because I had high expectations of being in remission since I have been feeling so well. The scans showed no change from the scans in July. The good news is that there are no new tumors and the two remaining are no larger than July. The not so good news is that the tumors remain active and the one in my neck is close to my spinal cord. So the oncologist says that he gets paid to worry and wants to see if the radiologist/oncologist can radiate that tumor again without damaging the spinal column. If so, I will have the radiation and then we will wait a while for scans. If not, I will have scans again in two months to see if there are any changes. I have to think that the IL-2 treatment did work to some extent since I have no new tumors and the existing ones are no bigger. Also, it may take my immune system longer to knock out the existing tumors and hopefully the will have shrunk on the next scans

So I continue to need your healing thoughts and prayers coming my way. Don't worry, I will get back to my positive frame a mind soon. Pema Chodron would say that I was clinging too much to one outcome and need to accept what is and find the positives in that.

L'Shanah Tovah

This is the time in the Jewish calendar of reflection on the year that has past. For me it was such a difficult year, but one that I am completing with much hope for the future. I couldn't have endured this therapy without the support, help and caring love of all of you, my dear family and friends. I am so grateful to all of you and want you to know how much I appreciate what you have done for me. So many of you have contributed to my journey through IL-2 treatment and I apologize if I have missed acknowledging what you did or thanking you in person. I so look forward to the year ahead and know that I have the courage and the support to face whatever comes my way.

Wishing you and your families a sweet year.

Almost back to normal

Just wanted to update all of you on my progress. I have been out of the hospital for a week and except for dry, itchy skin and not much stamina, I am back to normal. In fact, I am off this afternoon to play 9 holes of golf. I am working hard on keeping my mind in the present and not thinking about the scans coming up in 6 weeks that will tell me whether I am in remission or not. Keep those positive thoughts coming my way and I promise to let you know about the results.

Back at Home in Corvallis

It is sooo good to be home in my own space and to know that I don't have to go back to the hospital any time soon! Sophie was so excited to seem me that she tried to play with all of her toys at once! Thought I might get by with only one or two nights of bad sleep but up a good deal of the night last night. I did have a beautiful half hour of sitting outside in the moonlight with Sophie at 2 am.....

Applause and tears

As I left the hospital today the whole staff of the ward were standing by the doors cheering and giving me hugs and congratulating me on my accomplishment of completing 6 cycles of IL-2. I was so choked up that I really couldn't express my deep appreciation for their exceptional care. That sense that each one of the staff cared deeply about me and my success helped so much in getting me through the treatment.

Sleep cycle disruption and insomnia seem to be something one has to get used to on IL-2. I slept for three hours after I got to Becca's this afternoon and then from 8 to 12 pm so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised if I am wide awake at one am. Two of the lasting side effects that gets worse with each cycle are "compartment syndrome" and neuropathy. I was in a tremendous pain last night from both and sadly, Dr. Curti said that they would get better but it could take 6 months. Compartment syndrome is a leakage of fluid into the joints so that they swell and are very painful. My shoulders, especially the right, seem to be the worst. Neuropathy is an irritation of the nerves that causes tingling and pain, in my cases in my fingers and hands. These two side effects exacerbate each other so I many be in for some sleepless nights for a while.

I want to add my words of deepest appreciation to Becca's for the love and support all of you have given me throughout this ordeal. I will have my follow-scans in 6 weeks and am feeling very positive about the outcome. I will certainly keep you all posted on the results and what this journey may hold for me in the future.

And we're done.

So...by 11 pm Mom's systolic BP was back up to 97 and she was feeling a lot better so she okayed a third dose.

Almost immediately that BP number fell down to the 60s and she was put on Neo (the hard-core blood pressure drug that requires titrating every 15 min). Though she didn't get any nausea or diarrhea, she did have chill/rigors that required Demerol and then an excruciating pain radiating down her right arm that took 3 doses of Dilaudid (if I understood correctly) to control.

By the morning her BP was back up in the 90s (still on Neo), the pain was under control, and she was working on getting all the drugs out of her system. But it wasn't fun.

When the head of the IL-2 program stopped by he had a different message than usual. He said that he thought they could probably safely get her through 2 more doses (to a total of 5) if she wanted to wring every last possible dose out of the treatment, but that he was very comfortable with her stopping. She had received 13 doses over cycles 5 and 6 and showed definite signs of responding and there's simply no data or indication about the incremental benefit of a couple of doses by the last cycle. And with her crashing hard with each additional dose at this point it wasn't necessarily worth it.

She had Jon and me come over and we talked about it as a family and were all very at peace with the decision to call it a day for IL-2. Two months ago (after Cycle 4) we had all pretty much decided she was done then, so the fact that she went back and got 13 more doses(!) is all icing on the cake and hopefully will be that extra bit she needs to keep the cancer at bay for a good long time

I'm sure she's feeling a lot of relief right now (under the feverish yuckiness) and all she has to focus on now is letting her body and systems recover. If she improves at a decent rate they'll even let her come back home to our place tomorrow; if not, she ought to be released out by Saturday.

Thanks to EVERYONE for your help and support through these 6 cycles. All of you who came up to be with her in Portland or took care of her in Corvallis are particularly appreciated, but really, it was the love and support and energy sent from everyone, whether you came to the healing breakfasts or sent emails or just read this blog and sent good thoughts. We can't thank you enough.

Slowing things down...

...and hanging in there.

Mom took it "easy" today, holding off on both her 7 am and 3 pm doses. She had to have another bolus mid-afternoon to bring her blood pressure back up over 80 again and was nauseous and generally icky. Her eyes were back not focusing particularly well so she can't read and the rain delays in NYC mean that there's no US Open Tennis for her to watch, a particularly low blow.

After 24 hours off though she was feeling better enough (and the blood pressure was up over 90) that she's likely to get her 11 pm dose. If she can just get one each day that'll be enough for us. (For that matter, if all she has are these 3 we're okay with that too.

Send her good wishes to not have too rough a night (between getting the meds, blood pressure issues, and having napped a ton during the day she's expecting it to be ugly tonight).

I'll keep you updated.

Early Challenges

Wednesday Morning Update.

Just spoke with Mom and sounds like this cycle is going to be a lot rougher than the crazy good one last time.

After her second dose last night she had a very rough night with lots of nausea, shortness of breath, and BP falling to 80/40 around 3 am (requiring a bolus). To top it off she got very little sleep (after getting little sleep Monday night thanks to her dear granddaughter.)

Due to all of this they held her 7 am dose.

So maybe this cycle ends up being more like we expected where she only gets a small number of doses during the week and we call it good before she gets too sick.

Celebrating "Lasts"

We're all used to celebrating "Firsts" in people's lives: first steps, first accomplishments, etc. But this week we're celebrating "Lasts." Today was Mom's last Day 1 of IL-2 Cycles. And as the week continues, the Lasts will pile up until we can celebrate leaving them all behind.

As it turns out, she isn't the only patient on the floor celebrating Lasts this week. There's a man who is also on Cycle 6 of IL-2 and another fellow on the last cycle (19??) of some other therapy. To celebrate their accomplishment of reaching this point, one of the nurses made a delicious chocolate cake with berry filling and ganache frosting and Mom and her fellow survivors all were able to enjoy a piece for lunch before they started their Monday treatment and began to feel lousy. What a lovely gesture from a thoughtful nurse.

Other than that a normal Monday. Mom's request for an even-numbered room came through again so she was able to keep the same floor plan and avoid disorientation. Her three o'clock dose went fine but she had some chills and started to feel kinda lousy. Pretty much par for the course.

I'm going to assume that she's getting her 11 pm dose right now and she'll be 2/2 of 14 as of this writing.

Cycle 6 here I come!

I am off to the hospital at 7 am tomorrow to begin Cycle 6 of IL-2. I am hoping things go as smoothly as Cycle 5 but a lot depends upon how my body is able to hold up against another onslaught of IL-2. So I am again asking all of you to send me your healing blue energy and loving prayers throughout the week. Becca or my other care givers will keep you posted on how I am doing. We are certainly going to celebrate when I am done with all of this!!!

Whoopee

Five tough games of Pickleball under my belt this morning and although I am a little tired, I am not wiped out. I really have to feel that this treatment is working for me to come back so fast after all of those IL-2 doses in Cycle 5. Back in the hospital on Tuesday for Cycle 6. Then I am done!!!

Pinch me...is this real??

Just got a call from my oncologist and all of my blood tests (even the kidney function test) are back in the normal range. That has never happened before in cycles 1-4. I am elated that all organ systems have weathered the on-slot of 10 doses of IL-2. Raise a glass and celebrate for me!!

Apologies to all. So sorry for not posting for the last few days but all my available energy has been spent on being with my 4 adorable grandchildren and the rest of the family. One night I even fell asleep and never finished getting undressed. Wish I had had a camera with me yesterday. Dash and Kai were walking ahead of me around the block, and they began holding hands. From the back it looked like the best of a Hallmark card. It brought tears to my eyes. Caption:"Best Friends Forever"

But the big news is that I am home in Corvallis!! Tired but doing very well. My appetite is back and my mouth sores going away. Waiting to hear the results of my blood tests and hope that all the rest is progressing back to normal.

Going Home

It is only Saturday and they are letting me go back to Becca's. Every doctor is flabbergasted how well I have done this week....the number of doses and the less severe side effects. I did have a bit of a set back last night with a nasty bout of diarrhea that the nurses and I thought might keep me from going home today, but luckily that was not the case. I will be outside just in time to celebrate the hottest day of the year in Portland...92. Really looking forward to a couple of days with all the kids before I go home.

Photographic Evidence

Becca here...

Mom is intent on proving to Catherine that Max exists in his full big smiles and muscles glory. Funnily enough, she almost wasn't able to disprove Catherine's theory that he was made up. Earlier in the day she has snapped a pic of him with her camera but when we went to download it he had disappeared all vampire-like. Luckily we were able to track him down and give technology another go. So there you are Catherine... :-)

Just like Max, some of Mom's side effects began to reappear as soon as Catherine left. (Maybe she should have just permanently stayed ;-) ). It started with a rough night: between a bad reaction to benedryl and a broken/beeping pump I don't think either Mom or Amy slept a wink.

Couple that with a shot of Demerol after an episode of chills/rigors and Mom got to entertain me yet again with a totally loopy, slushy-mouthed, falling asleep every couple of words conversation. Katie (one of our favorite nurses) and I passed the time for a awhile comparing nonsensical things that she had said to each of us that morning. But by mid-afternoon she was pretty much back to her clear-headed self, other than the effects of exhaustion.

The return of the diarrhea was more of a bummer, but even that was much better behaved than in past cycles. And her BP, though lower than normal obviously (99/44 or so) kept steady.

She had her 7 am dose but then they held off at 3 pm. Amazingly Katie thinks she'll still get one or two more this week which would either tie her for the most or be the most she's received in any cycle. So much for stopping early this cycle!! Amazing what coming back to this at full strength can do.

Hopefully tomorrow is more of the same.

8 for 10 of 14 doses. Amazing.

7/7/14

Catherine here ... again! Molly just completed 7 doses out of 7 (the max she received last time). Only this time she is doing terrific!! I have come to the conclusion that all these side effects Molly has 'experienced' before are an illusion, as I see no evidence of these thus far. Much like her story of this wonderful, gorgeous male nurse who has cared for her before (also a no-show while I've been here!!). Molly's blood pressure continues to hold quite well (one dip this afternoon), but good enough to go for 8 out of 8 this evening. All other side effects so far have been well-managed, and Molly's mind has never been more clear. She's strong, focused, and her humor is at key pitch! So - keep those good thoughts and prayers coming ...

Amy B. takes over here at the hospital with Molly from this point on (what a delight she is as well). More good news to come I am sure....

Molly's Guardians

This is Catherine Mater typing for Molly, and I think Molly's Guardians are doing a terrific job, indeed!! So - I came on Monday, expecting to be put through the grill - as we all know that each time Molly goes through a session it just seems to get more difficult for her. The big surprise (at least for me) is that Molly is doing really (almost unexpectedly) well. She's been able to sleep (she says the best sleep she's ever had going through these sessions); has eaten regularly (with little or no side effects); has had only one minor episode of chills (which were controlled within a half an hour); and has managed to keep her temp within very reasonable range (no higher than 99.3). No bouts of diarrhea (amazingly!!!) The staff here at the hospital is truly amazing .... not a mean one in the bunch; great personalities! The one thing we are really watching right now is her blood pressure - results which will determine whether she gets her fifth dose this evening. So - 4 for 4 so far and doing great (as only Molly can do!).

Remembering Stefan

Today is the 7th anniversary of my husband's Stefan's death from colon cancer. It seems strange that I am beginning treatment on this day at the same hospital he was in with some of the same nurses. I look back and remember all the wonderful times we had together and take inspiration from how Stefan faced his illness with such courage and a wonderful sense of humor. I feel that he is with me in my room, cheering me on in this fight.

Starting Cycle 5 of IL-2 on Monday

I am heading off to the hospital on Monday for cycle 5. I feel stronger than I have in a long time and hope that will help me get through these two rounds with minimal side effects and to be able to have more doses of IL-2. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers and send me all the healing blue energy that you can. I have a positive feeling that doing these remaining rounds will have the desired effect of fighting off the melanoma for the time being. Becca is back from her month in Europe and will keep you all up-to-date with her wonderful posts.

Thanks to all of you for being such wonderful, caring friends.

Reasons for a Happy Birthday

Today is my 67th birthday. Ten years ago few people thought I would make it to my 60th birthday and here I am 10 years later doing well. It has been 10 years of great sorrow and joy. Sorrow in the loss of the two men in my life who loved me unconditionally but joy in the marriage of my two children to terrific spouses and the births of four beautiful grandchildren.

Through all of this, I have had so much to be grateful for.....my skilled doctors and to the medical researchers who have developed more and more effective treatments for melanoma, my incredible children who have become friends and invaluable advocates and sounding boards, and all my dear friends around the globe who have supported me, sent me love, healing thoughts and understanding, and have readily volunteered to cared for me at my worst.

It is hard to believe but I am also grateful to this terrible disease for teaching me so many things...to live mindfully and laugh often, to appreciate the smallest joys in life, to realize that I have lived a life that has touched people in so many ways that I never imagined, and to see that I have within me the courage, strength and will to persevere through whatever life has to throw at me.

Thank you all for enriching my life!!

Just back from Hawaii

Just back from a wonderful week on Maui with Jon, Lori, Dash and Finley. We stayed at Hanua Kai Resort in Lahaina. It was a perfect place for all of us: 2-bedroom condo with kitchen, Kid friendly swimming pools and a lovely beach. Most of the week was very windy (15-25 mph trade winds) but that kept things cooler and didn't keep us from the pool or beach. I was amazed at my ability to keep up with a very active 3-year-old and not be completely exhausted at the end of the day. I played golf once and was pleased that I played well and outscored the father and son that I was partnered with. My favorite part of the trip was from 6 to 7 am when Dash climbed in bed with me and we snuggled and pretended in our bed "tent".

Hard Decision Made

I had another conversation with my oncologist and with his encouragement have decided to go ahead with cycles 5 and 6 of the IL-2 treatment. But I decided to wait and schedule them to begin in mid-August in order to give me more time to recover and to enjoy some more of the summer which has finally arrived in Oregon. I am trying to pack in as much as I can before I have to go into the hospital.

I had a fabulous time in Southern Oregon over the weekend. Two dear friends and I stayed at a beautiful golf resort and spa (Running Y in Klamath Falls) and played two rounds of golf and enjoyed spa treatments. Then we drove to Ashland for shopping and a play (Moliere's the Imaginary Invalid). Only drawback was Sunday was very hot (99) and the play was performed in a tent which may have been even hotter! (The support beam in the indoor theater cracked so they were putting on the plays in a tent in Lithia Park.) It cooled off this morning for our final round of golf and the trip home. L know that I am getting my strength back to be able to do all that we did this weekend and not to be really exhausted. Instead I feel energized by the weekend: all the laughs and fun that we had!

Results of the Scans

Well, the news wasn't really good and it wasn't bad...it was somewhere in between. Of course, I had hoped that the scans would show a marked decrease in tumor size and activity from the last scans after cycles 1 and 2, but what they showed was that I am holding my own against the disease. One small tumor had disappeared, one small tumor was a little larger and the two large tumors were unchanged from the last scans. What does this mean?? Well, it is not clear. But based on his experience with other IL-2 patients, my oncologist believes that the IL-2 treatments are enhancing my immune system to fight the disease. But because there was no dramatic difference between these scans, he recommended that I continue with cycles 5 and 6 to see if we could boost my immune system even more. So I am now mulling over the question of whether to put myself through another two cycles, weighing the risks vs the benefits and assessing whether I have enough courage to face those side effects again.

Scans tomorrow

I have been keeping myself busy the last few days so that I don't have time to worry about my upcoming scans and doctor's visit. The photo is of my Best Ball Golf team. We didn't get our photos in our golf outfits because it poured both mornings that we played and when we were done we looked like drowned rats. Such a shame for this big tournament to have two days of rain (on the driest days of the year in Corvallis, supposedly). We weathered the rain quite well on day one and posted a good score, but it was so cold and wet today and we all were tired and miserable that none of us played well at all. BUT I did wind the closest to the pin contest for my handicap yesterday!

I have been reading a very interesting book,The Emperor of All Maladies: a biography of cancer by Siddhartha Mukerjee. It details the history of the diagnosis and treatment of cancer, especially over the last 50 years as researchers learn more and more about the biology and biochemistry of cancer. I would recommend it to anyone who wants to understand the progress that has been made in developing targeted therapies.

Do keep me in your thoughts and send positive energy my way over the next two days as I find out what my future will bring.

Phew!

If I wasn't anxious enough about my upcoming PET/CT scans next week, I was called back today for a follow-up mammogram because the radiologist saw something on the films from my yearly visit. They did two more views and I met with the radiologist who was still a bit concerned about a density on the films near the chest wall. So she wanted me to have an ultrasound. Luckily, they could work me in this afternoon. The tech spent about 1/2 hour taking images and then the radiologist redid the ultra sound herself. By this time I was really concerned and after they kept pointing to things on the screen, I asked what they were finding. The radiologist said that they weren't finding anything except a cyst....wish they had told me that earlier! It would have kept my stomach from tying up in knots and my mind from creating all these nasty scenarios. In the end, the radiologist concluded that what she saw was an artifact and just to make sure, she wants me to come back in 6 months for another set of scans. I am so thankful that nothing was found. I don't think I could have coped with breast cancer on top of the melanoma!!

Great 4th of July!!

I had a wonderful 4th of July weekend at the coast with my two sisters, Sue and Ann and Ann's husband. We took long walks on the beach (I'm getting stronger by the day), had great food, played all sorts of games, and had dinner with friends on the 3rd with stimulating conversations and fireworks that you could actually see this year. The weather was beautiful for the Oregon coast at this time of year but as you can see from the photo...we had brilliant sunshine but very chilly wind. (People think that I am crazy when I tell them to bring winter coats to the coast in July!!)

Weekend of Surprises

I played my second round of 18 holes of golf on Friday and held up pretty well. Even scored one of my best back nines. The additional thyroid medicine is really beginning to help my energy level. Saturday was a day of celebration for a friend and her family as her son had his bar mitzvah. He did an amazing job with a long Haftorah and an winning smile. The evening was a dinner dance at the MU ballroom. The music was LOUD but everyone got up and danced. I even danced a few songs.

Got home late and tired and let Sophie out. She went running around and barking and I opened to the door to let her in and was overwhelmed by skunk odor. She had caught a skunk in the yard. Sophie was freaked out and scared. I couldn't leave her out back and she was very upset when I tried to leave her in the garage. I was way too tired to start bathing her at 11 pm. So I closed off all the house and let her sleep right outside the bedroom door. Up at 6 am to start the process of washing Sophie and trying to get the odor out of my house. I didn't have any tomato juice but did have soda water. So I bathed her three times in soda water and then two times in dog shampoo. After an hour, she didn't smell too bad. I went to the dollar store and got lots of scented candles and burned them all over the house. By the end of the day the odor wasn't too bad.

Sad thing is that the weather is now getting warm enough to sit outside. Now when I sit outside on my patio and the wind is blowing one direction, you get eau de rose and the other direction eau de skunk!!

No wonder I was tired!

Had blood tests on Monday and talked with the doctor yesterday. Not only am I anemic but my thyroid is totally out of whack. One of the lasting side effects of IL-2 is permanent damage to your thyroid. So the next month or two we will be adjusting thyroid medication to get me back in the normal range. They think that the problem with the thyroid is also causing the anemia so we will see if that straightens out as well. I am looking forward to having more energy in the next few weeks.

Some of you have wondered if I ever get photos of Jon's little ones. One of the problems is getting Dash to be still long enough to snap a photo. But I did have a few quiet moments with both of them and captured this wonderful photo. I am such a biased Granny, but what cuties Dash and Finley are!!!

Wonderful Weekend

Just spent a very enjoyable weekend listening to beautiful music, taking walks in the sunshine with Sophie and even playing 9 holes of golf. This is the week of the Chintimini Music Festival when kids that have grown up in Corvallis and are now professional musicians come back and play a week of chamber music. The first concert was Friday and they played the first movement of a quartet commissioned by the Festival. The composer and his wife, Tomas and Jana Svoboda, stayed with me. They are delightful people and the piece that he composed was beautiful and very moving.

Saturday it rained so I stayed quiet all day and watched the golf on TV(since I had done a little too much on Friday.) Today I played 9 holes of golf with a couple that Red and I used to play with on most Sundays. We had a great time and decided we need to start the Sunday tradition again. I scored a 51 so I am feeling very good about my game even if I am pretty tired by the end of 9 holes.

Tomorrow I go to Portland for blood tests to make sure that all is back to normal. Two weeks ago I was anemic and some of my electrolytes were still out of whack. So we shall see if there is anything that needs to be done to help me get back to normal. Also I get to spend some Granny time. I have really missed seeing the little ones and I am sure that they have grown so much in a month!

Visual Candy

My friend Lynda and I traveled to Eugene yesterday to see a performance of Cirque du Soleil's Dralion. I have only been to one other live performance years ago and this one was made all the more wonderful by having seats on the front row. We had a very close of view of the acrobats and dancers, their faces and costumes. You were transported to another realm for two hours. It was a great show!!

Seem to have taken a few steps back energy wise. I probably need to have my thyroid and iron levels checked again as something seems to be off. The blood tests last week showed I was slightly anemic. They were worried about more serious stuff but that may be what is making me drag a bit and needs to be addressed.

Things are looking up

Return of my appetite, digestive system beginning to get back to normal, starting to sleep at night...what a difference that makes in my mental outlook and my feeling like myself again. Now if we would just get some sunshine.....

As things improve, I will probably slow down my postings to once or twice a week. Thank you to all my faithful friends and readers. I cherish you caring and the time you take to send me messages. (even if I don't answer every one.)

Couldn't resist posting the latest of Kai and Alex. Looks like Alex is going to be bigger than Kai in no time.

New person

It is amazing what a difference a halfway decent night's sleep can make!!! Slept pretty well last night and I feel almost human again. Now if the weather would only cooperate...we got teased with a couple days of summer and now we are back to cold and rain.

Fever gone...next side effect..insomnia

Fever is gone and I can't believe that I actually feel better even though I only slept for about 4 hours last night.....Walked a mile with the dog and did some gardening so I hope that will make me tired enough to sleep tonight.

Better today

Although I had a really rough night, I had a much better day today. Fever is not gone but just on and off. Went on two short walks with Sophie and even went to a garden center with a friend for a little while and bought some plants. What a pleasure to sit outside with a book under my new patio cover and enjoy a nice warm day.

Sunshine Helps

A day of sunshine and warm weather really has helped my depression but the fever still lingers. I have been though a large battery of tests in the last two days (still waiting on blood cultures) and they haven't found anything significant which is a very good thing. Talked to my oncologist tonight and he was stumped. So it just may my propensity toward wild IL-2 side effects.

Set back

Took a big step backwards yesterday as I started to run a high fever. Got into the doctor here today. (Thank goodness, I didn't have to drive back up to Portland) Dr couldn't find anything seriously wrong, but they took tests and will let me know. Fever was normal at noon but is up again this afternoon. Nothing like a fever and grey weather to make you feel punky and blue.

Little pleasures

You don't realize until you can't do them how wonderful little things are like turning over in bed without pain, getting up out of a chair, not feeling nauseous all the time Making baby steps toward feeling better.

Brrr, we are freezing in Corvallis (58 rather than normal 70) and rain, rain, rain. Looking forward to better weather over the weekend.

Alex knew there was something to smile about!

The docs decided that even though I could not use my arms without pain (one nurse said I looked like I had Tyrannosaurus Rex arm movement) that there was no reason to stay in the hospital. But I had to wait to leave until they pumped me full of calcium and phosphorus. By the time we collected everything and made a stop to see the kids, it was 5 pm. I decided that I just wanted to get back to Corvallis and be n my own home surrounded by my own things. Home in bed now, exhausted but happy to be here with Ione and her husband, Larry staying with me.

This was certainly an extremely difficult cycle which required a lot of courage to get through. I appreciated all your messages of hope and encouragement as I needed them all.

Things are looking up

A mischievous smile from Mom's visitor

After a night and early morning that still featured episodes of anxiety/anxiousness, joint pain and confusion, Mom was doing much better by mid-morning. She was lucid and awake and able to have an informative and productive conversation with the doctor making rounds and she got in some good grandson holding time.

Even better in the afternoon she was able to get a shower, change into fresh clothes and actually walk a lap around the oncology ward. Heaven. Those were all great positive steps forward and will all help her start feeling more like herself.

The doctor felt pretty optimistic that if Mom continued to improve at the rate she had from Saturday to Sunday that she should be able to be let out on Monday.

We'll let you know....

Climbing the walls...

Apologies from the ghost writer. That's twice this week I've missed posting. To make up for it I'm actually writing this from Mom's bedside so I can give an up to the minute account.

So... despite my previous prediction Mom received her 11 pm Thursday dose which led to a really, really rough night for her. Thankfully Carolyn was there to sit by her bed and remind her of where she was and what was going on. Mom was really fuzzy and out of it during the morning , drifting off again in the middle of sentences or actions. By mid-afternoon she was doing a lot better and was regaling us with stories. Then as the evening progressed things worsened again and a new symptom popped up: excruciatingly achy joints in her shoulders and knees. In addition, a lot of the neuro symptoms from the first cycle started to come back (though thankfully not to the same degree). In addition to fuzziness, she had anxiety, itchiness, antsiness, confusion. So not fun.

Based on all that the doctors gave her a choice of whether to have one last dose for the cycle and she (wisely i think) declined. So she ended up with 7 doses out of the 14 (after getting 9 the first three cycles) which was really good.

Today (Saturday) has been another tough one. She's certainly not going home today. The good news is that the electrolyte levels and diarrhea are all getting better. However her neuro symptoms (due to a combination of sleep deprivation, IL-2 toxicity, and impact of the other medications that were treating the IL-2 side effects) and achiness remain in full force. She is having great difficulty completing sentences (mostly because she drifts off in the middle of them) and they're not always making sense.

It's frustrating and distressing for someone who is always so on top of things and whose mind is so sharp to be in this position but at least this time she recognizes what's going on (most of the time) and knows it will pass.

So send good thoughts to her today, she needs it. Hopefully by tomorrow more of this will have worked it's way out of her body and she'll either be ready to be released or will at least be feeling better and resting up waiting to get out on Monday.

I'll keep you posted.

I think I can....I think I can...

Today was a real Little Engine that Could day with Mom having to remind herself that she was more than half-way through the cycle and she could make it through.

The day started out ok. She ended up not getting her 11 pm dose on Wednesday and by 6 am Thursday had been weaned off the Neo and was maintaining a strong blood pressure. She did receive her 7 am dose and when I spoke with her around 8 am she sounded pretty good. Shortly thereafter however the wheels started to come off. She had another attack of the chills that again couldn't be controlled with the hot blanket mummification and needed Demerol to break the rigors. Then Demerol then made her terribly nauseous and itchy and it, combined with sleep deprivation (especially after a night of having blood pressure checked every 15 minutes), knocked her loopy. When I came by a little after 10 she was fuzzy and not totally lucid and couldn't get more than a partial sentence or movement completed without drifting off in the middle of it.

It's never fun to see someone in that shape, but it would have been more disconcerting if a) we weren't already familiar with those sort of symptoms (but much worse) from Cycle 1 and b) it weren't totally understandable that somebody who was sleep deprived and sick and then given a narcotic would be kind of out of it. So while I spoke with the nurses about keeping an eye on these symptoms to make sure she wasn't heading towards neurotoxicity issues, I felt pretty comfortable that sleep and getting the Demerol out of her system would help.

Her electrolytes were also continuing to bounce all around so it was extremely unlikely when I left that she was going to get her 3 pm dose. When I checked back in with her around 2 things were both better and worse. Better: the Demerol had worn off and she was much more lucid and together and had more strength and life in her voice. Worse: her blood pressure had tanked again (86/46) so she was back on Neo and the 3 pm dose was definitely scratched.

As of 9 pm or so she was waiting to find out if she was going to get the 11 pm dose. Our guess earlier was that she probably wouldn't, but that they'd try and see if they could get her the 7 am dose again before calling it good for the cycle. We'll see if that's what happened.

I think all of us are grateful to have gotten through the day and only have one more to go before the healing and recovering can begin again (THANK YOU to Carolyn (and to Amy earlier in the week and Phyllis last week) for being such a wonderful friend and staying with Mom in the hospital so that Jon and I can also be there for our families and new babies.

Doses: 6 for 10 of 14

Drip...Drip...Drip...Drip...

No, this title isn't a commentary on this spring's dreary weather in Oregon (though it certainly could be) but rather about the pharmacy that Mom currently has dripping into her veins today. Let's put it this way: she has 3 different lines to connect to going into her central line/port (and yes, I know I have my terminology slightly off) and two of them are doubled up and she has other bags waiting to be connected. Right now the IV pole contains (among other bags) Potassium, Magnesium, Sodium Bicarbonate, Neo, Saline solution, and a glucose solution.

The big hitter on the pole is Neo (Neo-synephrine) - the tool that the staff use to manage blood pressure when an IL-2 patient's body can't maintain it any more. Because it's such a heavy hitter drug, it must be titrated very precisely, so patients are monitored 24/7 and their blood pressure is taken every 15 minutes. (During the couple of hours that I was there I watched her nurse come in and dial it up and (mostly) down) multiple times). Mom is certainly not looking forward to trying to get sleep over the next few days with a pressure cuff squeezing her every 15 minutes.

The reason she had to be on Neo is that at this point her blood pressure wasn't stabilizing and they had already tried keeping it up by IV boluses. And since they're hoping to squeeze in a couple more doses before she goes home (maybe 1 a day?) they're expecting that she's going to need to be on the drug for the duration.

She wasn't able to get her 3 pm dose due to her low pressure, but they're expecting her to get her 11 pm dose unless her blood work shows some really funky numbers. Not to say that her electrolytes are playing nice; they're all over the place (hence all the electrolyte drips). But at the moment they're enough under control to continue the treatment.

So the story for the next few days is going to be handling her with kid gloves and trying through all sorts of medical (IV drips, anti-nausea and anti-diarrhea drugs) and non-medical (warm blankets, salty food) means to get her a little bit more of the medicine each day. We'll see...

Doses: 5 for 7 of 14

Topsy Turvy (aka better late than never)

Hey all. Sorry for the late posting.

So Tuesday continued the trend of a) having no idea what each cycle will bring and b) having to view events through 'bizarro-world/topsy-turvy' glasses.

So last cycle we kept talking about how well Mom went through it and how surprised we were that she didn't have a lot of the same symptoms as before. Well, this time she has all new symptoms again but they are really the pits. She felt AWFUL yesterday, the worst so far and in many cases it was because body systems were actually reacting the opposite way as they have the previous 3 cycles.

But that's where the topsy turvy part comes in. I had to remind her that she was almost worried last time because she didn't feel so bad which makes you wonder/worry whether the IL-2 was being as effective at triggering her immune system. So this time, when she does feel awful and her blood pressure craters it's paradoxically a really good thing: a pretty clear sign that the IL-2 is working. (Or at least that was the line I was trying to sell her).

She ended up skipping her 11 pm dose last night because her blood pressure was too low but she had her 7 am one this morning again. In addition to the blood pressure issues, she's had really severe chills that turn into rigors and have needed demerol in addition to hot blankets to stop and wicked nausea. Still, she's been able to eat small amounts throughout and get some good naps in.

Hopefully today she's able to maintain at this level and not feel too much worse.

Doses: 5 for 6 of 14.

Insult to Injury

The newest incarnation of the healing alter featuring the power of grandchildren cuteness!

So...Day 1 of Cycle 4 is almost in the books. In many ways it's been super smooth: since this isn't Mom's first time at the rodeo she's got the check-in and set-up routine down cold. (she even thought to request an even-numbered room so that the furniture/bathroom configuration would be familiar and not mirror-imaged)

However (in addition to the allergies that are suddenly plaguing her) there seemed to be some difficulty in getting the central line in this morning and the doc had to poke and push through 3 different times to get it in. We're not sure exactly what got pinched or bruised or traumatized in doing so but Mom was left in a good deal of pain from the procedure. In fact, she said that it was worse pain than anything she's had to deal with during the IL-2 cycles. She tried dealing with it with tylenol and advil but by late afternoon we had to move to Dilaudid to try and manage the pain. That made a huge difference and got the pain back under control but brought with it its own set of side effects: itching, nausea, light-headedness, etc. Not exactly how one would hope to head into the week.

However by 8 o'clock Mom was doing a little better and had managed some fruit and yogurt and crackers for dinner. Hopefully she's able to get a good night's sleep after her 11 pm dose and can wake up knowing she only has 4 more days to go.

IL-2 Dose Status: 1 for 1 of 14

Cycle 4 begins tomorrow

I am not ready physically or psychologically to subject myself to another round but I really don't have much choice if this treatment is to work. I keep reminding myself it is only five days and if I made it through the first three times, I can do it again!

I am so glad I have had the weekend in Portland surrounded by family. I can't believe how much the grand kids have changed in just two weeks. The little ones are a month old already and Alex (who my sister is holding in the photo) is so long he is going to have outgrown the cradle in a few weeks and Finny looks like she has doubled in size. Kai is now communicating in several sentences and Dash amazes with with how much information he knows about the Muppets and Thomas the train stories. Both families got together last night to celebrate Sue's 77th birthday and the fact that she has sold her house in Modesto and is now officially an Oregonian.

I am counting on the healing energy coming for all of you to get me through cycle 4. I have my lovely bag full of your wonderful messages that I will read or have someone read to me each day.

I remember how to hit a golf ball!!

Such a beautiful spring day today. After a long walk with Sophie, I couldn't resist going to the country club to see if I remembered how to hit a golf ball. Only had enough energy to last 15 minutes on the driving range but did hit 5 wonderful drives over 150 yds!! What a boost to my morale. Have two more days of sunshine to try my hand at other parts of the game before the rains come again and I head up to Portland for cycle 4.

Feeling much better

Feeling much better today and a little sunshine doesn't hurt. The cold seems to be much better , but am trying not to push things. Hoping that we will finally have some May weather (temperature wise) this week so that I have a chance to enjoy it before going back to the hospital.

Under the weather...

Woke up this morning feeling a little off and by this afternoon, it looks like I am coming down with a little cold.: scratchy throat, runny nose, bit of a cough. Am staying home, drinking liquids until I feel like I am going to float away. Hopefully I will nip this in the bud. Had hoped to go to the coast for a few days of R&R but am thinking it will be wise to just stay home. Darn...

SUNSHINE!!

It sure helps to have a couple days of sunshine to lift your spirits and to help me with my recovery. I am able to get out and walk around the neighborhood, going a little farther each day. Sat out on my patio and read a book yesterday afternoon...what a treat!! Looks like the rain is coming back this weekend so I am going to try to take advantage of every moment of sunshine. Sending out rays of positive energy!

Home is really good!

Too tired last night after coming home to post. Was wonderful to sleep in my own bed and see Sophie. Right now I need lots of sleep and just need to pace myself. (Keep reminding me everyone!) One thing that we learned is that no cycle is like another and we just can't predict what reaction and side effects I am going to have from the IL-2. Just when you think you have things under control something new crops up. But we are learning strategies of things I can do before I am in the hospital and during that may help lesson the side effects.

I can't thank Phyllis, Carolyn, and Bobbie enough for taking such good care of me in the hospital and afterward. I am sure it is a major reason that I am doing so well. And, of course, all of your prayers and healing thoughts make a huge difference. I really can feel the energy!

Good Evening from Molly

First, thanks to my wonderful daughter for keeping everyone informed and for outshining me with her posts.

I am very comfortably ensconced in a two bedroom suite with a lovely view of downtown Portland. We have seen several rainbows as it rains and then shines.

I am doing well (sooo much better than the last two times) but due to my setback of yesterday, I won't be heading home until Tuesday. But I think that is good that I stay in one place for a couple of days to just rest and recover before taking the 2 hour drive there.

Happy Mothers' Day to Me

...or rather, to Mom.

Continuing her much-better-than-expected experience this cycle, Mom was actually released from the hospital today/Saturday mid-day (which is the normal time to go home for the treatment cycle but the first time she's actually been able to do it). What a great early Mothers' Day gift.

Friday night Mom was feeling well enough to eat real food, so Phyllis and Carolyn went to the market and came back with a wonderful deli spread. Evidently they "picnicked" in Mom's room until quite late at night, talking about any and all subjects other than Mom's treatment.

Because the digestive issues got way better overnight and her creatinine levels had fallen, Mom got the ok to head out of the hospital and move to home care. Of course Mom being Mom she promptly insisted on taking P & C out to lunch on the way home to thank them, totally over-pushed herself, and ended up crashed with a slight set-back by late afternoon. However after a long nap, some medicine, and a chat with her physician it sounds like she's back on the recovery track and is sufficiently chastened that she promises to behave during the next few days.

The good news doesn't just end there though. Not only was she able to get out of the hospital earlier, but she was also cleared to return to Corvallis on Monday. Up to this point she's ended up staying in Portland for most of the week after treatment both because she was required to come back in for blood tests to make sure she was doing okay and because even without that, she didn't have the strength or feel well enough to make the drive home. But now (barring any setbacks over the next day or so), she should be able to be taken home and get back to her own bed, own dog, and own friends much sooner than any of us could have predicted.

A huge thank you to Phyllis, Carolyn and Bobbie who really stepped up this week and made it possible for Jon and me (and for Lori and Brian) to take a step back in intensity of care and be comfortable that she was still in excellent hands. With our own sleep deprivation to deal with and 2 two-week old babies (plus 2 toddlers) to care for that was a huge gift to our families as well.

Same as it ever was...

..and yet totally different.

It's Friday again and in many ways it's like the other Fridays. Mom is done with IL-2 (they stopped her after her 9th dose again), the diarrhea and other digestive side effects continue to increase (and stand as one of the major issues keeping her from being released), and her kidney/liver function is compromised. That is all familiar.

However she is sitting up in bed, dressed in bright clothing, and speaking in a strong, clear coherent voice. Moreover when she does need to deal with bathroom issues, she's able to get up and walk into the bathroom and take care of things herself instead of needing to be helped onto a bedside commode. And her electrolytes are pretty much back in line. As simple as those differences sound, they are HUGE. None of us who were here for the earlier cycle can believe how much better she seems this time.

Now we wait to see how quickly and slowly the rest of the recovery comes along. Her digestive issues need to slow WAY down before they'll let her go (that's what kept her 'til Wednesday in Cycle 1 and Sunday in Cycle 2) and I think they are also a little concerned about her kidney function coming back on line as her creatinine levels have continued to rise even after she stopped getting doses.

So we're hopeful that she'll be released this weekend (though I think more likely Sunday than Saturday). We'll keep you posted.

One of the things Mom asked me to pass along is her belief that the healing energy you all have sent and the amazing love and support and images of healing blue light you provided her at the send off Saturday morning have been a key component of this Cycle going more smoothly. So thank you all.

Hanging in there...

It's amazing how different each of these three treatment cycles have been. They warned us about that but it still is strange to think that you've got things figured out and know what to expect and then find that actually, you don't.

For the most part, this has actually worked in Mom's favor this cycle. Though she does have a couple of new side effects we haven't seen before (bright red rash, very painful stomach cramps, nausea and a hugely swollen face from fluid retention) they are manageable, and the more familiar side effects (debilitating diarrhea, neurotoxicity/confusion/incoherency, chills/rigors etc) have as yet to hit her as hard.

Today is Thursday, traditionally one of Mom's worst days on the cycle, and she was actually up to having a sponge bath and sitting in the window seat to enjoy the view (such as it is) and occasional sunshine. That would never have happened on Cycle 1 or 2. This is not to say that she feels great...she's still feeling pretty darn sick and miserable ...but just to emphasize how different (and I think better) this cycle is going.

She was able to get her 9th dose this morning and then they skipped the 3 pm dose so she's currently 9/10. Given that 9 doses was all her body could handle in the first two cycles I don't know if they're still hoping to sneak another dose or two in or whether they're done.

Mom has one of her favorite nurse/CNA combos back today (Daniel and the incredibly hunky Max) and it definitely cheered her up to see the familiar and trusted faces. Alex and I stopped by mid-day (as did Jon) to give Phyllis and Carolyn a break and Mom was able to get some baby-holding therapy in...always a good thing

One of the things that has really really helped her this week was reading and re-reading all the 'healing slips' from the wishes and images and items that so many of you sent with her during the past couple of healing circles she held pre-cycle. It's hard to overstate how much these help, and each time she reaches for one she gets to see and enjoy that beautiful, meaningful quilted bag that they are held in. So a huge thank you to all of you for the support you've given her.

Managing the balancing act...

A rare sunny day in Portland and Mom took advantage of it to sit in big chair by the window and soak in some of the warmth and rays.

That was a rare highlight for her though in a day when the big IL-2 side effects were all starting to make their presence felt. Her blood pressure and electrolyte levels were all over the place (mostly way too low) and took a lot of managing by the nursing staff. And this evening Mom reported that the less pleasant digestive side effects had all started to kick in in all their misery.

Despite this she was 7/7 on doses as of this evening and expected to be able to get her 8th dose tonight at 11. If she does she'll only be one short of where she made it the past two cycles. So mostly likely she is very close to being done with receiving doses (unless her body is able to absorb a lot more punishment this time) and will spend the remainder of the time in the hospital trying to re-stabilize her systems so that she is well enough to be released.

Alex and I will probably go spend some time at the hospital tomorrow so I'll be able to give a first-hand report on how she's doing on what (in the past) has been one of her rougher days of the cycle.

2 Days Down, 3 to Go

End of Day 2 and Mom is hanging in there. As of now she's 4/4 on doses and I don't think there's any reason to think she wouldn't be getting her 5th dose at 11 tonight. That will make her (likely) more than halfway through her treatment as both of the previous cycles she ended up with 9 of the 14 possible doses. But we'll see...

It wasn't too bad of a day today. Mostly so far the side effects have just been bone-crushing tiredness/lack of energy with an accompanying drop in blood pressure/disruption of electrolytes. But so far (and we're all enjoying it while we can) no diarrhea or vomiting.

Though she was tied to a an IV pole for the majority of the day, she did manage to take a nice walk around the floor in the morning, and was able to enjoy visits from Jon, the Davis family four (with double grandchild bonding), and her sister Sue. Meanwhile, Phyllis has been great company and taken really good care of her.

She's very frustrated being (mostly) locked in a bed (which has been a consistent issue for her to deal with over the 3 treatments) but she's taking to heart the comment from one of her friends that there must be a 'jet stream' of healing energy being sent her way and she's planning on riding it as far as she can.

And so it begins again...

So Becca here at the end of Day 1.

By cycle 3 you start to get into a real routine. Brian got Mom to the hospital bright and early this morning and she set about setting up her mattress pad and healing altar and fleece throw and the other little touches that make the hospital room seem a little more homey and bearable.

It was a long morning though: there were a number of delays getting the central line put in (including the seemingly inevitable laying on gurney in a hallway for 20-30 minutes waiting for transportation to arrive) so Mom wasn't back up in the room and able to order lunch and get settled until 1 pm.

The Davis family four were there at that point and Mom got to have a little bit of baby bonding time and then some great chatting and interacting with Kai during which time Kai took full advantage of Mom's last real meal for a week to pilfer as many french fries as she could get away with.

Phyllis, who will be with Mom this week (thank you thank you thank you), arrived in the early afternoon in time for dose #1. One of the things you learn about IL-2 treatment is that the body starts recognizing it and reacting more quickly as you go through more cycles. It says...ah yes, I remember you...WHAM!

Evidently that's what's happening/going to happen this time (though it didn't so much on cycle #2 when we had been expecting it) as it only took that first dose this afternoon for Mom to be hit hard and have the wind taken out of her sails. Though not nauseous yet, she is already exhausted and feeling flu-y. The positive way to take that is that is certainly seems to indicate that her immune system is on the case and primed and ready to go.

Mom had a good visit in the early evening with the Bloomfield-Townzen family four including some nice Dashiell bonding.

Keep/Start sending healing and energy-filled thoughts up this way. Looks like Mom is definitely going to need them this cycle.

I'll do my best to keep things updated.

Ready to tackle cycle 3!

What a marvelous weekend to get me psychologically and emotionally ready to begin my next cycle of treatment on Monday morning. Saturday morning 23 friends gathered to share wonderful food and gifts of special traits with me. The room was filled with love and healing energy that will carry me through the next two cycles of treatment. Any time I feel down or need encouragement, I can reach into my beautiful bag and pull out a message of support from the healing circle breakfasts that I have had.

This morning my children and grandchildren got together for an early Mothers day brunch. They gave me flowers and loads of hugs. The day was beautiful so we made the most of it by being outside and taking walks around the neighborhood. Just the thing I needed before being locked in a hospital bed for the week.

Even though I know what to expect, it takes a great deal of courage to enter another cycle of this treatment. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers and I will imagine being held by your supportive hands and surrounded by healing blue energy.

Big High

I played pickleball today for two hours. Hadn't lost much of my touch and played really well. What a lift it gave me to be out there and to be able to compete. If I was able to play well just six weeks after treatment, it gives me hope that I will be on the golf course and the pickleball court later this summer!!

Just had to share more photos

Dash and his great aunt Laura and I had a wonderful morning at the Portland children's museum and then at the playground in Washington Park. Came home to find his parents home with Finny. I am wearing a track in the sidewalk between the two houses helping out with both babies and their older siblings. What a joy!!! So glad that the hospital didn't have room for me next week so that I have another week to enjoy before I am really unable to do much for a month again.

Two Grandbabies in Two Days!!

Got a call this morning at 6 am to come right over to my son Jon's as Lori's water had broken. Finley Adelaide Bloomfield was born at 7:57 am weighing 7 lb 9 oz and 21.25 inches long. She is a beautiful little girl with reddish hair. I took care of Dash all day and am exhausted. He is just like his Daddy: a bundle of energy..fun and creative but always on the go. There is a reason that one has little boys when you are 30 rather than 60! It is going to be a wonderful weekend with both little ones home with their families and I am able to walk between the two houses to visit everyone.

One down and one to go!

After 22 hours of labor, Alexander Stefan Davis was born at 10:57pm, April 19th. weighing 8lb 11oz ans 22.5 in long. Mom and Dad are exhausted but all are doing well. He is so cute as you can see from the photos and a very tall drink of water. (He won't fit in their bassinet very long!) Kai was so so careful and loving with him when we took her to meet him this morning.

Now we are just waiting to see when Jon and Lori's baby will decide to come into the world. Should be really soon.

a Very Happy Granny!